Hi Annelise.

Instead of sending you a boring dossier all about me, I made a webpage all about you and the Basel Area.

You need a B2B copywriter for your email campaign.

A writing sample.

Here's a cold email template I wrote to bring new business to Enigma, the agency I used to work at.

Why it works:

The first ingredient to a working campaign is finding the right audience. We analyzed companies to find any weak spots in their branding, advertising, or digital platforms. Those companies with weak spots were a good audience.

The second ingredient is having a good solution to a problem. The offer of getting a free analysis that might help them to outdo the competition without much effort was mouth-watering.

The crux is to make the prospect read the email and bring your point across clearly. That's where good copywriting comes in.

Here's how I did it with the help of AIDA:

Attention

The subject line is supposed to grab the reader's attention. "Ihre Analyse ist zur Abholung bereit" makes you wonder: what analysis?

Interest

We have to keep the prospect reading by keeping their level of interest high. By telling the prospect that we analyzed their company, we could keep them wondering about the outcome.

Desire

We sell with benefits, not with features. A phrase like "der Konkurrenz den Rang ablaufen" is a benefit. This evokes desire.

Action

In the end, we tell the prospect what to do with one simple call to action.

Another writing sample.

Here's another writing sample written for an Australian SEO company that focuses on dental practices.

Why it works.

The prospects we tried to reach didn't know that SEO was a solution to their client shortage. That's why I chose the Before—After—Bridge framework.

Before:

I grab their attention and draw their focus to a problem they could be facing. If that particular prospect is facing that problem (client shortage), they will instantly connect. If they have enough clients, they weren't the target group.

After:

I tell them the story of how it could be. I talk to their emotions, not the features of the product I'm selling.

Bridge:

I bridge the before and after scenario with our solution and give them a great offer. In the end I call them to action by telling them to letting me know when they are free for a call.

You asked for some feedback on the text sample you sent.

Here are some quick notes. Especially the last two bullet points will make a big impact:

  • According to the BABI writing style guide, we should use contractions like “we’re” instead of “we are.”
  • We should edit for brevity. I like long-form content but especially in copywriting, every word counts. To show you what I mean, I’ll rephrase the first paragraph after the bullet points:
    —We attached your personal brochure [/document/presentation] where you’ll [insert benefit they get from reading the brochure].
  • Your bullet points are features, not benefits. You need to create a desire in the reader. What outcome are they looking for? Here’s an example of how we could rephrase the first bullet point:
    —The Basel region is Switzerland’s best accessible location. Multiple daily direct flights and high-speed train connections from Basel to all major European destinations make your business travels a breeze.
  • There is no clear call to action. One call to action might be to read the brochure. Another CTA could be to arrange a virtual tour and yet another CTA would be to ask questions. The whole email should serve one goal that you clearly urge the reader to follow. Here’s an example:
    —If you’re curious to see how we can help you to [insert business goals], book your virtual tour here: LINK.

What's next?

I'd love to jump on board. I worked with BABI on several projects, and it was always a great experience.

If you liked my writing sample and my notes, let's schedule a call and talk about how to proceed. I have already made some notes beyond copywriting that might also help the campaign's success.

Cheers,

—Pat